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Twenty one years of trying to figure it all out. Twenty one years and counting...

Forrest Gump It!

12 May 2012 22:41:43

So, while waiting for my sister to get ready for lunch at Greenbelt, I decided to watch Forrest Gump.

And, I can’t help but think…

how my life could be so much better if I could just Forrest Gump it?

I mean, how awesome would life be if I could just stop overthinking, remove all the stress and pressure, and just live my life???

Now, I know that Forrest isn’t exactly the smartest kid around. Okay, actually, no…what makes someone smart anyway? Someone that can memorize a dictionary? Someone that can speak really well? what? With an IQ of 75, Forrest managed to live a successful and fulfilling life. If anything, a successful and fulfilling life is all I want to look back and see before I die.

I know he doesn’t really know any better and, sometimes, he just can’t tell what exactly is going on or how dangerous or harmless a situation actually is. He just lives his life. The way his mother, his beloved Jenny, his drill sargeant, and etc tell him. Fortunately, no one has steered him wrong just yet.

It’s just…as my sister put it, he just follows basic instructions down to the very last detail. He doesn’t know when to stop. no limits. no barricades. Just do it. Simple.

And, it is with this pure and innocent, determined and persevere view of and approach to life, he managed to live a life that many others -and, I would hate to be one of them- can only dream of. 

So, there you go. Lesson of the day.

If you can, Forrest Gump your life.

Don’t think too much. Just do it. Don’t let the stress and pressure get to you. You can do it. 

It’s not even about just believing in yourself. Forrest knew he wasn’t like anybody else. He knew he was different. Even if his mother did tell him he was no different. He knew he didn’t think or act like others. He didn’t have to tell himself he could do things. He just did them.

Now, I know this can be a dangerous piece of advice. There are consequences to one’s actions and one must always consider them. But, I guess…if it’s the right thing to do, you wouldn’t really need to think about it. that much. 

Thinking too much just gives you time to get scared. Sometimes fear is good. Reminds you that you’re human. It can even give you the strength to get the courage to rise above it. But too much fear…can ruin a man.

So, there it is. Forrest Gump It!

Don’t think. Just do.

After all, you wouldn’t want the one person to be standing in your way to be you, right?

"That’s all I have to say about that." - Forrest Gump

Still waiting. Still trying.

I take a lot of mental pictures. Some get saved, some get lost. And, some…are lucky enough to get real-life/tangible counterparts. 
Paseo de la Castellana, Madrid, Spain
The streets right in front of the Intercontinental Madrid

Even though the days felt long, this year’s trip to Europe was too quick for me to get truly attached to anything. However, this was the first time I went outside on my own. It was a short walk but it felt great just breathing it all in. the warm yellow streetlights, spring air, the busy streets… I wanted it. all of it. And, under those streetlights, I promised myself I’d come back. I promised myself that I’ll get my chance to live here or in a place like this someday.

I take a lot of mental pictures. Some get saved, some get lost. And, some…are lucky enough to get real-life/tangible counterparts. 

Paseo de la Castellana, Madrid, Spain

The streets right in front of the Intercontinental Madrid

Even though the days felt long, this year’s trip to Europe was too quick for me to get truly attached to anything. However, this was the first time I went outside on my own. It was a short walk but it felt great just breathing it all in. the warm yellow streetlights, spring air, the busy streets… I wanted it. all of it. And, under those streetlights, I promised myself I’d come back. I promised myself that I’ll get my chance to live here or in a place like this someday.

Still…

10 May 2012 17:36:39 

"And, I am done with my graceless heart. So, tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart. ‘Cause I like to keep my issues drawn. It’s always darkest before the dawn…And, it’s hard to dance with the devil on your back so shake him off." 

-Shake It Out || Florence + The Machine

So, here I am again.

Venting online. Not quite the most advisable course of action especially when one is any of the following:

  • drunk
  • high
  • excited
  • angry
  • sad
  • happy
  • …or whatever emotion, state of mind one finds ONESELF in…
  • ME

Not to say that I am all of the above…right now. I don’t even know if that’s possible. But then again I just might find someone messed up enough to be “all of the above”.

But out of all of that, I can’t help but be me. ALL. THE. TIME.

And, just being me would be enough to reason to just take off and run.

I’ve had blogs before.  Did not turn out so well.

As far as I can remember, the first few times I had a blog, I managed to insult and alienate whatever friends I had right before high school and…you know, mess up my life and shiznit.

I was such an idiot back then.

So, what am I doing here? why am I doing this…AGAIN?

Seriously, I don’t know.

Or maybe I do?

Let’s start with…

I kinda like to write but I’m not that good at it. I’ve written a million stories. All unfinished. Will probably never publish. Just because I’m lazy. Too lazy to make an end, a middle, and maybe even a decent start for all these stories. Also, despite the joys that writing gives me, I can’t really tell what words are the most appropriate and how to put them together without consulting good old mr. google. Seriously, I don’t even know what punctuation marks to invite into my sentences. I have noticed that I am so fond of ellipses…IT…IS…SO…CRAZY. I suppose it saves me from thinking about what kind of word or punctuation marks I should use. If I don’t use ellipses, I go nuts, with, the, commas„„„ s,e,e,e,e,e„„

I kinda like to vent because the world is so EFFED UP that there is just so much to vent on and on about. However, I’m not sure I want the whole world to know exactly what I’m thinking. But, then again…there’s just something exciting about somebody else OTHER THAN YOU knowing your business. In a half attention whore, half soul searcher way. You know, the thought that, maybe, for once, somebody outside of your universe may actually know the right answers to the questions that have plaguing you since you last asked them to yourself, is actually comforting. Well, that is…if there’s anyone out there who would actually take the time to read all these meaningless ramblings.

So, I guess it’s just…

I kinda like blogging. Even if I don’t know how to write properly or my desire for venting (which would often lead me to worst kind of verbal diarrhea) would often get the best of me, I still like to blog. 

Even if there’s also this annoying feeling after every post, I still want to blog. If you’re on any social network, you’ll know this feeling. It’s that kinda exciting yet also nerve-wracking feeling. It’s the feeling that makes you want to read and reread your entries more than once asking yourself…

"Will they get it? Will someone get offended? Did I spell "nerve-wracking", right? I googled it twice! Will my future employer find this, conclude that I am some crazy psycho, and blacklist me for life? Or will someone find it amusing and somehow find me to be so charming that I will someday become the next big internet sensation, inspire a movie, write a book, and be Brad Pitt’s third wife or be his 7th kid at least?”

By the time you read this, stranger or…well, let’s face it, future me…I have probably read this entry 50 times already. and counting.

Hmmm…

I don’t know anymore.

I’m 21 years old and I’m still in college. I should’ve graduated last March 2012 but I didn’t because I either believed in myself too much or too little.

I feel restless. Still lost. Still cocky. Still jealous. Still sad. Still regretting. Still pissed off…with everyone and everything. 

So, bottomline, I need this. I need all of this out of me. Out there. Where it falls, where it lands…who knows? It might make somebody a better person. It might make some crazy person crazier.

I just might be irresponsible enough to not care. Or maybe dramatic enough, silly enough, crazy enough…to make a difference. 

(and…determined…to…be…annoying…enough…to…use…the…crap…out…of…these…damn…ellipses…)…

Still waiting. Still trying.